I need you now. It’s my turn to ask you to sacrifice your sleep, I need that big hug. Friendship still comes first no matter where we are, I miss you.
I simply love you. I feel terrible for disappointing you today but this was just bad timing and a situation I can’t sneak around. I’m sorry for letting you down but I tried, and I always will. You thanked me tonight for trying. You acknowledged me in so many ways tonight; I’ve never had you give me so much praise in one sitting. I’m happy that you’re in a better mood right now and all you want is to see me. I’m saddened by the fact there’s no way I can make it out to you tonight because of the bad timing and all the other factors involved. I would be there right beside you right now if my situation were otherwise.
I don’t want anyone else, I know I’ve got you and that’s more than enough. I can’t do without you, things would be a completely terrible kind of different now that I know what life with you is like. I’m on cloud 9 with you officially, like you said I’m in a world of my own with you. I’m so happy right now and being here with you makes me happier everyday. You said you shouldn’t have guilt tripped me last minute and that you’ve taken me for granted and I deserve better but it’s not your fault, nor mine. It’s just forces of the world getting in the way tonight. Hearing you tell me that I’m the best tonight over and over warmed my heart all the more. I tell you that you’re the best all the time and I’m never going to stop reminding you that you are.
When you say sorry I know you mean it, and that’s what counts when apologies are made. I know that you know I always try and that’s all you ever ask for from me, and tonight I did try. I’m always here for you, I promised you that. Thank you for knowing that and appreciating me for everything because it means the world to me and I’m happy to know that you’ve come to see that I’m in a world of my own with you. To hear you tell me that I’m the best over and over tonight, that itself reminds me why you never cease to put a smile on my face and why you never cease to surprise me . I may not have made it tonight but it’s amazing to know that I’m someone that has done more than enough on other nights for you that it makes you feel a near regret that you’re not capable of coming to me right now for that big hug that’s much needed.You know that if there was a way I’d be there, you know that and you know me. You admittedly said that you meant it when you said that you’d go to hell and back for me and I would do the same for you, but you say that I’m an angel, your angel, and that I can’t go to hell. You said that I will just watch over you like I have been and that you can’t ask anymore of me.
You’ve literally given me the world and I can’t stop smiling when I’ve got something so wonderful within my hands. Nobody has ever made me smile or as happy as endlessly as you have and do. You’re the toughest cookie I know, you’ll be okay and you’ll do just fine like you’re always telling me. I’m here even for the most bitter, worst, and tough bits of your life and my own. Even when I’m across the world in a few months I’ll be here. Although I’m physically distant from you, you know that I’m still with you closer than ever.
You say “I got you babe” but I always said “I got your back boy”, and you get to telling me that I’ve always had your front side and back being the angel watching over you. I always thought I was the one that had you for an angel and I always felt blessed to have you but we both got lucky having each other. I’m thankful for you everyday; I’m a blessed and lucky girl and I’m always going to be with you. You don’t believe in anything anymore but you know that if I tried than it couldn’t be done. You’re talking about how you’re the lucky one who stumbled upon me five years ago and that I gave you the shot to be friends with me, as I feel the same way.
I didn’t know the answer to your question about why I requested to be your friend three years ago but I do now, I was interested a long time ago. I made that friend request because I was interested in pursuing something more with you than being the strangers on sharing a bench. You called for our friendship and I never knew that from the first time you saw me that you knew there was something about me that just took you a few years to figure out. I had no idea you saw so much in me even five years ago when we were just strangers sharing a bench. Neither of us would let this go, especially after we have spent so much of our time getting to know each other and to the extent that we do. You wanted me to know that you regret between us is that you were too shy to talk to me five years ago and that it took you years to talk to me and become friends before you fell asleep. I think that’s crazy because I don’t see how you can be shy, it’s like an elephant being scared of a mouse. I don’t know what it was that made you so shy and scared of me, but now you have no fears with me aside from me being too good for you and that you can’t return the favour. You’re scared that I do more for you than you do for me but that’s not the case. It’s not a case of returning the favour all the time, don’t keep score of what I do for you. Everything I do, I do because I want to and I’ve chose to. I’m not keeping score. Only thing we’re keeping score of is for our arguments for who wins. Your exact words in response to that tonight were “I’m not either, I’m just trying to keep up with my angel.” I can be your angel alongside your escape, it’s easy to do things when you want to.
I’m happier than ever to be with you, please don’t feel that need to keep up or do anything for me because I did something for you. Let it be, we’re both happy as is. Don’t say that you can never do enough for me and that I’m too good for you, but you do try. We’re just mean to be, it is like we were made for each other, most blessed individuals with each other. Don’t see it as I’m your angel and you’re a cursed demon. You’re not and I really want you to stop saying that and trapping yourself in that state of mind. You’ve shown me the world, you’re an angel on your very own babe. Don’t tell me that you’re not meant to fly and be beautiful as I am. I refuse to agree because I see you completely differently. If you can bring me such an unwavering happiness and everything in between, you can’t be cursed. Don’t tell me I’m an angel because I always see the best in people, even you. For one, I’m not seeing the best in you alone, I know you’re the best. You can’t be cursed having me around. Angel’s don’t bless demons, they only bless the ones worthy and bring them to a better place. Don’t tell me you’re not worthy of me if I’m going to be your angel. You are worthy, you are more than worthy and I saw it a long time ago.
I want to give you the biggest hug ever and I would have if I could have got to you tonight. I love you so much for everything you are, I wouldn’t let anything happen to you but some forces in the world I can’t control. I’m sorry you’re in this position but at least I know that you have confidence in me to be here. I haven’t felt this euphoric with you until tonight knowing as much as I do that you expressed. You really mean everything you say and it has me here not wanting to move. I’m happy with you and you’re worth it. I smiled so much tonight and there are so many emotions I experienced in this short period of time during our talk that I can’t explain or express, but know that it’s good. You’re the best babe.
Hugs and kisses like I’m your miss’
Hugs from behind and around the neck are wonderful, almost as wonderful as the hugs where I get picked up and held in their arms with my legs wrapped around them.
