This waking up looking forward to rolling over to something that makes my day start out well is overwhelming but bearably overwhelming in the sense it brings me pure joy. Thank you is an understatement for everything I have been privileged enough to have and experienced with you.
Being happy with someone that has been a friend for the past five months and that is becoming more as the days go by is worth the risk I’m taking. A person that was once a complete stranger to me has become someone so significant in my life in the span of a few months. It all started with a few drunken encounters and that was all it took us to begin developing a relationship rather than being acquaintances for the rest of our lives. The drunken encounters led to some casual conversations that gradually grew to be more personal. Soon enough a friendship that was once so casual became something more and something else that made us happy. Now it’s something else that makes us happy to be where we are with who we were there with. No thoughts or intentions of a friendship being anything more but through friendship, we all can catch feelings. I’m thankful to have a friendship with someone that is such a good person in general, not just to me. Waking up in a world where I am always looking forward to where this will take me is still something I’m getting used to but I’m okay with that. Everything has been surreal; I never saw it coming that I would be as happy as I am with the person that I have by me but I am thankful for them and everything so far.
I have become used to putting up walls from people to protect myself the past few years that it became what I am accustomed to doing. Only so many get through the walls I put up and stay in my life, and that’s what makes me selective of who I let in. I don’t want anyone in my life that’s only going to be a part of my life temporarily; it’s not fair to me that they come into my life and leave when convenient to them. I want people in my life that will stay even if things unravel for the better and the worse. I am surrounding myself with all the right people that make me happy. This time I won’t run from a good thing because I’m scared to get hurt. I am not going to run from someone who has been nothing but a good thing in my life, because I’m getting too comfortable or attached. I would rather be happy and have the good times now and deal with the potential heart break in the future than regret that I never stayed to see where I could be with someone because I was scared. I may be in fear but I’m going to give the benefit of the doubt because I have a good gut feeling about everything. The future I once feared has become the mysterious and alluring future I want. No more running, no more hiding in fear, I’m going to let everything be and continue to be happy. Here I am, happy again and thankful to have someone around me that has brought out the best me and is making me a better me by showing me everything I once saw in someone else but with more to offer while opening my eyes to a happier day every day.
It was like a game of Monopoly between us. We went about our lives doing what we did on our own and we eventually crossed paths then at some point we landed upon a chance. We first landed about a chance to develop a friendship, which we took and developed to be one that’s the foundation to our lives. Later down the line we landed on a chance at something more than a friendship, a chance I gave you to be specific. This chance was yours for almost a year and I feel that it may have passed its expiry date. You are going to remain one of my best friends nonetheless. You are one of the most amazing people to me that can treat me the best and give me the world on a plate but that’s all it will be, I’m starting to see that. We stopped to collect our things before we landed upon the “go!” of what was next and we ended the game there. No more games. You will always be my friend no matter what, and after all, you did watch me grow up and take care of me these past six years. Thank you for everything, I will still say that I am thankful and blessed for everything with you. I’m still here for you and I will always try but things are going to change.
A former coworker and good friend took me here recently, I was absolutely blown away by the view that this picture does no justice to. Two and a half years have passed and I still get along with him so well and even better than we used to. I sometimes even wonder what if we still called and texted each other every day and if we hung out weekly what it would be like now for us. I’m happy that now that he is better with his phone in terms or returning calls and messages that I can always call him and he will be there like he has been when he could these past few years. He tries to do what he can to help me and he tries to make it work between us to maintain our strong friendship. It is so heartwarming to have some call to ask if they can hang out with you because they miss you. We go months without speaking or seeing each other because we both maintain very busy schedules and lives, but when we do speak and see each other, we pick up right where we left off. I’m just as thankful to have a friend like you around as you are of me.
Thank you for taking me by surprise to make my stressful day better by such simple things to remind me I’ll do great at what I’m doing and that I’m beautiful as I am. Thank you for believing in me. It still means a lot to know you are happy and happier with me here. I’m either really lucky or really blessed, but either way, I’m thankful for your presence.
“And you have been nothing but amazing and I never take that for granted.” - Gym Class Heroes
You have done everything for me with and without question. You continue to do everything for me. Thank you for everything. Having you here is more important than a vast majority of things in my life. In my times of darkness, I know you are always with me to hold my hand to walk through the darkness. You would not let anything hurt me if you were able to do something about it. Thank you for having your best interests in me. See you soon.
You’re one lucky person to have this time and these moments. I’m satisfied with how this has played out but there are unanswered questions. Even when you provide me the opportunity to ask you whatever I please, I can’t seem to bring myself to ask you the questions I have because I would rather not know. I fear the answer and the truth more than I fear the future. You can repeat that you have plans for us and the future you see me a part of but those don’t justify or excuse you for right now. My walls have came back because I need to protect myself again after throwing myself into something different and so new. I will always be comfortable and happy with what the forces of the world has brought us to have but I will always want to know where to go up from here. We’ll sink or swim, maybe even drown for a while. Thank you for the ‘everything’ that you have given me. Here’s to whatever else the future has for us.
